The first of many: Would You Rather Saturday!

I hereby declare that every Saturday will be Would You Rather days! Why? Because it is something I can pre-post and they are fun!

Every Saturday I will propose a would you rather type question. These questions are going to be very random because that is in my nature and they will sometimes be silly. I will be expecting answers in the comments section!

This Saturday's would you rather question is:

Would you rather be able to read everybody's minds or know everybody's future? (Either way you can't tell anyone what they are thinking or what their future is).

Black Friday Traffic Madness

First of all, Jenn, it makes me ill to think that when I was getting off work this morning at 6am, you probably had already hit up 17 whole malls and other little shops along the way. You and your mom are some crazy biatches.

Second, what the flip is with all of you?????? You know who you are. I am talking about anyone who was on 495 between 4:53pm and 5:48pm. I’m pretty sure you were all wildly intoxicated or are just still in food comas which, in either case, driving for you should be strictly prohibited.

Let’s first start with YTB 04*. I don’t have any idea why you think it is A-okay to slam on your brakes for no apparent reason whenever you feel like it. I think you might just like to see the lights reflecting on my windshield. You did it hmmm, I would say at least 3 times before I switched lanes, only to find that there was no one within a good 1500 ft in front of you. And I was not following closely at all. I was scared shitless of all of you drivers today for some reason and was driving not only the speed limit but at least 2 car lengths away from you.

To the piece of crap pick up truck that more than once failed to look beside him to see if there was someone in the lane before nonchalantly attempting to cram your vehicle into said lane, without putting your blinker on mind you, you are a jerk. And I am so glad I have a loud horn and stellar reaction times.

Lastly, you, with your hugely unnecessary SUV acting like you own 495 W. There is no reason why during rush hour you need to be barreling down the road like a lunatic at 90 mph, I don’t care if you were a cop. You totally cut me off, and have blatant disregard to others. And I hate you. I hate you not only because you drive like a donkey but because of your car. It is as if to say F U world, I am the only one that matters. My comfort and obsession with huge vehicles is far greater than having a planet for my children and grandchildren to grow up on. You obviously have a small penis…I mean…. Shit, Melanie reads this, so does my Mom.

Happy Thanksgiving!

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

And some holiday funnies!

Thanksgiving Eve Meanderings

Out of all the holidays, Thanksgiving is probably my least favorite. I have worked every Thanksgiving since I was a teenager, and as I sit in my office right now and until 6am tomorrow, and then tomorrow night and the next night, I am trying to pinpoint exactly what it is I dislike so much about Thanksgiving.

I hate saying this, but I honestly think it has something to do with the fact that Thanksgiving was the one holiday where we didn’t stay at home. Christmas we have people to our house, New Years is family game night, our birthdays, not that they are holidays, but they were spent in the comfort of our own home. Thanksgiving is the one holiday where we left our house, went to my aunt’s house, or my grandparent’s house or God only knows where else to have dinner.

But leaving the house isn’t really the problem; the problem is you never know who else is going to be at the family member’s house you are going to. You forget that there is a totally different side of the family you are not used to encountering. And I think this particular Thanksgiving, when I was probably in 5th or 6th grade was the one that did it in for me. (NOTE: Please do not get offended by the rest of this post, I am not meaning any type of disrespect, I used to work with people with disabilities, and I commend anyone who has worked with/lived with/had anything to do with people with any sort of disability. It is tremendously admirable.) That Thanksgiving we got up the usual time, got dressed, probably skipped breakfast and began the 2ish hour journey to my aunt’s house, my mom’s sister’s house. Everything was going the way it usually went, food was cooking, football was on, everyone was catching up with everybody else, good times.

And then…my uncle’s son showed up. Dun dun dun. And he brings, a client, I guess you would say, from where he worked at the time, with him. Not only do I not really know my uncle’s son, but I definitely have not had any type of interaction with someone with any type of retardation and I was frightened and annoyed that this person was there in that house, with my family on Thanksgiving. I remember thinking that the tradition we usually do every year…ugh, was going to be incredibly awkward. Every year everybody gets 5 popcorn kernels and we all have to think of something different to be thankful for, for each kernel, and there can be no repeats, 2 people cannot be thankful for their mom, only 1 could be. It was made even more awkward by the fact that my brothers and I had figured out that the only thing this guy who was drooling on himself and refused to remove his thick winter coat was able to say was “Church,” “Soap,” and “Kappa pee pie.” Please don’t even ask about the last one, I have spent years trying to figure out if he wanted a piece of pie or needed to use the restroom.

Eventually, Thanksgiving was over, and we were on our way home and I guess it was then I was really thankful for being the way I am and having my health and my family to be with not just on holidays, but anytime I need them.

And even this Thanksgiving, while I will not be with my family or my friends, I continue to be thankful for every single one of them.

Come, Sit, Stay...what was the other one?

Sunny had her first puppy obedience class last Saturday. She made some new friends, including a cute Collie among others and she made it clear that she wanted to attack and kill the Great Dane that was there as well.

She has got sit and stay down pat. The one she has trouble with is "please don't chase the cats, they are not toys." I think she thinks Barley's fluffy tail is her own personal play toy and poor Sushi, Sunny just doesn't understand that Sush is a scaredy cat. But in all honesty, it has gotten better faster than I thought it would. Sushi spent the first 2ish weeks under the bed, only coming out to eat, pee and poop. I think now she is starting to realize that is no way to live, and staying under the bed is not going to make the dog go away, and has been making appearances daily outside of the bed room.

Yay for progress. :-)

Teasers - Kari and Jason!!!

I am so glad that my Karbear let me photograph her wedding! The wedding day went by so smoothly and the whole day had a very relaxed feeling.

She wore a simple yet gorgeous white gown.



Not to mention really cute shoes.



I love getting ready shots...check out the awesome natural light!




I always love a good mom of the bride shot. She looks so proud. And she currently holds the honor of coolest mom of the bride ever!



The brothers of the bride.



And my favorite. This is the moment I wait for in all weddings. The moment when the groom sees his bride coming down the aisle. I love it.



Gorgeous bridesmaids!



Beautiful setting. Not to mention perfect weather.



Hmm...hotties?








I love this, I have a slew of photos of them just totally unable to keep thier hands off each other right after the ceremony! Totally spontaneous!






First dance.



And to the jerks who I had to edit out of almost every photo...this one is for you. I will probably beat you up the next time I see these faces. :-) Kidding...kind of.



Kari and Jason, I had so much fun at your wedding. I really hope you enjoy these memories of your day! Love ya!

Check Back Soon!

I finished Kari and Jason's photos in record time! I will be posting the Teasers tomorrow! :-)

Music Ed Day 3

How about some ladies today? I’ll be honest, I don’t like many woman’s voices. I am pretty particular. I don’t really know how to describe why or without sounding offensive. I think some woman’s voices are just whiny, too high pitched sometimes and I prefer to hear a solid, deeper, rough yet still soft and smooth voice of a man.

BUT today I have only females.

First, I want to tell you about my first party in college. I think this is the day I realized I picked a totally cool and awesome place to go to school. My first party in college was a post Pergola Party-party. There is – cough I mean WAS a tradition – at Hood called Pergola Party. It started with a Big Sis Little Sis dinner and then they are supposed to read us their favorite bed time story and “tuck us in.” Cute. Except for after we get ready for bed, and the big sis’s leave, they come back about 20 minutes later banging on the doors, wrecking havoc and make us leave the dorm. When we get downstairs to the front door there was all of the upperclass(wo)men with shaving cream and silly string spraying us and leading us to the Pergola in the center of the campus where they sing about how much they love us and all that good stuff. When I just wrote that, I realized how horribly stupid all that sounds but in all honesty, it was adorable and a lot of fun. You actually felt accepted after that. It helped knowing that all the big sis’s had been through the same thing and it was all in good fun.

Anyway, after the big foam party-ness, we all got showered and changed and went up to what was then the empty “triple” on the top floor of the building. I had the coolest big sis ever, Torrey Campbell, she really took me and my roommate under her wing and made sure we had drinks and were having fun. I was such a virgin to alcohol then, she made us fuzzy navels and I remember having no idea what the hell she was talking about. I blame it on being the oldest child in my family. We were all just hanging out talking when someone asks this girl Laura to sing us all a song. I was shocked that this girl had the softest and most beautiful voice ever and played the guitar perfectly. How awesome is this? Classes start in a few days, I am with what will soon be lifelong friends and I am in a room with really talented and intelligent people. This is what college students do and I am doing it. Awesome.

Anyway, her name is Laura Secker and her music can be found at www.laurasecker.com. It is beautiful.

Okay…enough rambling.

Lori McKenna – How Romantic is That?

I mostly just heart the lyrics to this song. I love when songs tell stories. And it is live, not a recording.




Sugarland – Stay

I wanted to post the real video but YouTube has the embed option disabled on all of them. I love the real video. It’s pretty raw. And this is one of the few female voices I love.




Meril Bainbridge – Mouth

So old, so old. But I heard this one the radio the other day and I forgot how catchy and fun it is. And dirty…