Dear Phelpsiepooh

Dear Michael Phelps (aka my Phelpsiepooh),

I think that you are the most adorable swimmer I have ever seen. I could probably do with a different head but I definitely love what I see from the neck down.

I heard you were moving back to Baltimore. I’m not sure if that was a good thing to announce on national television. I’m not the only girl with a crush on the neck down. Your pool is going to be pissed at the number of sassy females that will be flocking to the doors on a daily basis.

Anyway, congrats on those 11 medals so far, must be pretty sweet. Are you getting tired of our National Anthem yet? Maybe they should just stop the medal ceremonies until you are completely finished all your races so they only have to play it once. I laugh at the way you put your hand over your heart, you pretty much cup that your really big peck, despite the fact that you could just place it on top of it. Makes me giggle every time.

I think I would be so pissed if I was one of your teammates. I mean they never get as much publicity as you even though that one had to carry you through that relay. Thank goodness, or those obnoxious Frenchmen would have won. Plus, they have way to much pressure on them. I mean, if they do poorly and you lose, you are going to be pissed about that it, possibly lash out irrationally, my prediction.

I think it is cute that you give your flowers to your sister when you get off the podium and I think it is so funny that you know the exact routine for the medal ceremonies. You are always putting your arms up for the silver and bronze medal winners for get into them for the photo afterward the anthem is played.

But on a more serious note, you need to stop putting all those medals in your mouth. China might try to poison you. It’s definitely not chocolate. You have proved that enough times.

If you are ever around Frederick, you should let me know. I will see if I can get a day pass from my husband. :)

Love,

Sweet D