Black Friday Traffic Madness

First of all, Jenn, it makes me ill to think that when I was getting off work this morning at 6am, you probably had already hit up 17 whole malls and other little shops along the way. You and your mom are some crazy biatches.

Second, what the flip is with all of you?????? You know who you are. I am talking about anyone who was on 495 between 4:53pm and 5:48pm. I’m pretty sure you were all wildly intoxicated or are just still in food comas which, in either case, driving for you should be strictly prohibited.

Let’s first start with YTB 04*. I don’t have any idea why you think it is A-okay to slam on your brakes for no apparent reason whenever you feel like it. I think you might just like to see the lights reflecting on my windshield. You did it hmmm, I would say at least 3 times before I switched lanes, only to find that there was no one within a good 1500 ft in front of you. And I was not following closely at all. I was scared shitless of all of you drivers today for some reason and was driving not only the speed limit but at least 2 car lengths away from you.

To the piece of crap pick up truck that more than once failed to look beside him to see if there was someone in the lane before nonchalantly attempting to cram your vehicle into said lane, without putting your blinker on mind you, you are a jerk. And I am so glad I have a loud horn and stellar reaction times.

Lastly, you, with your hugely unnecessary SUV acting like you own 495 W. There is no reason why during rush hour you need to be barreling down the road like a lunatic at 90 mph, I don’t care if you were a cop. You totally cut me off, and have blatant disregard to others. And I hate you. I hate you not only because you drive like a donkey but because of your car. It is as if to say F U world, I am the only one that matters. My comfort and obsession with huge vehicles is far greater than having a planet for my children and grandchildren to grow up on. You obviously have a small penis…I mean…. Shit, Melanie reads this, so does my Mom.