Friday, August 8, 2008

Observations while driving...

I should note that these are in no particular order whatsoever. It’s just a list I have compiled while sitting in hours and hours of back up on 270 and 495 over the past few months.

1. The best license plate I have ever seen has been spotted: H8 I270. How awesome is that? Seriously. And he was driving on 270! Okay, maybe I am too excited about it. I totally want one. Sign me up.

2. Rain – now come on, why the hell do we have to hit the brakes and act all crazy like every single gosh darn time the rain starts coming down? I mean, even if it is drizzling, we are breaking like crazy, it’s like there are no rules when it’s raining, people drive however they feel and completely forget about what it was like when it wasn’t raining.

3.Motorcycles make me so flipping mad. I am sitting in not minutes but hours of back up after a very, very long day at work, don’t you DARE drive down the middle of two lanes of cars, and don’t even think about driving on the shoulder. My God. Irritates the hell out of me.

4.I can see you picking your nose; your windows are not tinted.

5. Cops: Number One: If their lights are already flashing and they are out of their car at the window of someone else’s car, then for pete’s sake, keep driving, please do not act like you need to slow down to the speed limit. He already caught someone. Yes, you may be next, but he is going to have to get all the way back in his car, and catch up to you. And let’s face it, they are too lazy to do that when they have one caught right there anyway.

6. Cops: Number 2: A cop car is following behind you, yes, go ahead, slow down, but just get over. It’s amazing, as soon as a cop car gets behind someone they are the most perfect driver, checking their mirrors constantly and signaling, not talking on their cell phones, blah, blah, blah. But what you really need to do is get over in the lane next to you, because seriously, what are you trying to prove? If he was going to pull you over, he would have done it already.

7. Please do not tailgate me. Just give me a sec, I will get over. Don’t give me dirty looks as you pass either, that’s just uncalled for.

8. People who use their windshield wipers when it is not raining to clean their windshield when it is so obviously unnecessary. Hi!!!! I now have to put on my windshield wipers because of all the nasty fluids your car splashed onto mine.

9. Car alarms are wildly unnecessary.

10.Babies should not count as two people for the HOV lanes during rush hour. Or on second thought, maybe I’ll just go buy a car seat so it looks like I have a baby too!

10 should be enough for now. I'll save the rest for another day.


Abigail said...

I think I'll get you a blow-up doll friend for the HOV lane. I would love to see what would happen when you inevitably get pulled over!!

Remember this is coming from the lady who was going to encourage you to shut down the entire hospital by taking a baby out of the maternity ward causing the alarms to go berserk.

Dani Leigh said...

HA! Abigail I heart you! I would so put a blow up doll in my car. I have thought about that so many time. I love your crazy ideas!

Melanie said...

OMG, I was walking in the parking lot of the columbia gym and there was a license plate that said Jenny 7. Then, I walked inside and say a lady with a bag that said Jenny on it. Now, I always see her car at the gym!